I pride myself on being especially detail-oriented, and others' lack of detail orientation is infuriating. Why?
This page is a stub, created on 2023-07-15. Its contents are notes on the issues and angles I want to address about this topic.
Often, when people have sensitivities about particular traits in others, it's really a reflection of some personal insecurity, sometimes reflecting some kind of childhood trauma or developmental self-esteem issue.
I'm very detail-oriented, and I found myself wondering whether the reason I find others' lack of detail orientation so frustrating is rooted in some kind of issue like that.
While it's true that paying attention to details was generally rewarded and encouraged (and I can even remember a specific anecdote relating to my dad's car and being careful about not getting it dirty), there was never any punishment, and certainly nothing that ever landed with me as my not being "good enough" for the opposite. I don't recall any criticism or condemnation.
As I've reflected on it, I think it's that being detail-oriented is so core to my being that when others are aren't, it lands with me as an assault on my very being. (In some ways, I think this is related to why I get so bent out of shape about about UX issues with apps/websites and customer disservice.) I realize that beyond a certain point, a high level of detail-orientation is an optional value for other people, but somehow, it's like their cavalier attitude about things is basically saying "Your values and way of being are bullshit, and I don't care about them."; it's related to my frustration in being misunderstood.