What is the connection between pride, arrogance, modesty, and pretense? What is healthy, and what is destructive?

This page is a stub, created on 2021-03-05. Its contents are notes on the issues and angles I want to address about this topic.

• forms of pretense
  • modesty as pretending that one is worse than one actually is (playing oneself down)
  • what people usually call "arrogance" as pretending that one is better than one actually is
• objective self-judgment as an alternative to pretense, rejecting the false dichotomy of modesty versus "arrogance", and how it is a prerequisite of genuine pride
• why "arrogance" and "arrogant" are problematic smears / package deals
• how "pride" is misunderstood (and its disastrous effects)
  • in the sense of others' perceptions/judgments (and how this relates to false self-esteem)
  • in the sense of healthy self-esteem and feeling good about one's accomplishments etc
• modesty as an insidious form of "better than others" or other insecurities
• connection to first- versus second-handedness